|
Dear God: Why do humans
smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get
to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going to be the same old
story?
Dear God: Why are there
cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the
stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog
barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a
bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can
understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More
meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get
to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God: Are there
mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give
you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
1.
I will not eat the cats' food
before they eat it, or after they throw it up.
2.
I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3.
I will not munch on
"leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are
not food.
4.
The diaper pail is not a
cookie jar.
5.
The sofa is not a face towel;
neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6.
The garbage collector is not
stealing our stuff.
7.
My head does not belong in the
refrigerator.
8.
I will not bite the officer's
hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9.
I will not play tug-of-war
with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10.
Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is not an acceptable introduction.
11.
I do not need to suddenly
stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12.
I must shake the rainwater out
of my fur before entering the house.
13.
I will not throw up in the
car.
14.
I will not come in from
outside and immediately drag my butt.
15.
I will not sit in the middle
of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
16.
The cat is not a squeaky toy;
so when I play with him, and he makes that noise, it's usually not a
good thing.
And, finally, my last
question:
Dear God: When I get to
Heaven will I get the parts my vet took away back? |
